Something New

I'll be kind of busy this afternoon, so I thought I would introduce you all to my sister site. I've been working on it for a while, in secret, trying to get everything "just right". It's finally finished, so you might want to check that out since I may not be posting later today.

I proudly introduce:

cbkworld.blogpsot.com!!!

I couldn't think of more original url, so I just switched some letters around. I hope you enjoy it.



Seriously, WTF? Anyone else have their blog url hijacked like this? These people must have registered a bunch of addresses similar to blogs and other sites. What freaks. I guess I should be flattered, though.

I almost forgot!

DVD coup of the day:

Picked up Swingers for $9.99 at Best Buy.

If that's not money, I don't know what is!

Meet Jill Wagner

Jill is an actress. Here she is:



Jill is a pretty woman. She was born in Winston-Salem, North Carolina in 1979. She is 5'8" and according to sources, weighs "perfect".

Jill has had several guest spots on television shows, such as Punk'd and Dr. Vegas. She has also done some modeling.

Here is Jill slutting it up for Stuff Magazine:



But the most important thing you should know about Jill is that she is, allegedly, the spokeswoman for Mercury's Mariner and Montego automobiles. Here she is in a Mercury Mariner commercial:




About 2/3 of my visitors recently have been searching for this woman, so I felt it was time to give the people what they want.

For more information, and pictures, please visit here and here. Those are much better resources than I am. Thank you.

Still no iPod. Where is it?


P.S. - I would hardly call her skinny ass "perfect". I'm thinking of doing a weekly feature called "Beautiful Real Woman of the Week" where I show random pictures of attractive women who are not famous and not extremely thin, overly augmented, or dressed like whores. Just normal, beautiful women that I find on the web somewhere. This may be hard to do on a weekly basis. I'm not even sure where to look, except maybe personals sites. I'll probably include some pregnant women, too, so my wife realizes how beautiful she still is.

Yeah, I'm a suck up. What of it?

Unfortunate word choice,

Or a sick sense of humor?

Sometimes I wonder about news reporters:

Wal-Mart heir John T. Walton, who died in the crash of his experimental, ultralight aircraft, was remembered as a down-to-earth man

[tumbleweed blows by]

I've got mucho work to do this week, and no iPod, and nothing else really interesting to say.

Although yesterday the Wife and I had an interesting morning. We woke up early to... you know... and near the end we got a little... wink wink... and I may have vocalized that I was about to... ahem... and after we were done we heard:

"Mommy, why were you doing that crazy breathing?"

Apparently I'm a very earnest and talented tickler. Who knew?

Disaster... Averted

I flew home from Calgary on Friday night. I got my book and my iPod all ready before I boarded, taking them out of my work bag. I started to read before the plane took off, but couldn't stay awake (you might recall the 4 hours of sleep the night before) so I put the book down and took a nap. I slept for pretty much the whole flight, and didn't even get a drink and bag of cheese crackers when the flight attendant came by. After we landed I got off, got my suitcase and took the shuttle to my car. It wasn't until I put the suitcase in the car that I realized I had left my iPod in the seat-back pocket in front of me.

MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

I hurried back to the airport, got a security pass and went to the gate where I had come in. The plane I had arrived on had already left for Santa Barbara. I left a voicemail with the airline's Lost and Found number, but that gave me no hope at all. I talked to Baggage Services and got the phone number for the airline at the Santa Barbara airport. I talked to someone and she said she would check on the plane when it arrived. At about midnight, the phone rang. It was the airline woman, and she had found my iPod. I gave her my company's FedEx account number for them to send it back to me. It should be here in a couple of days. Man, was I relieved.

This is the second time something like this has happened this year. A couple months ago my cell phone fell out of my coat pocket in the cab to the Calgary airport. Luckily the driver put the cab number on the receipt (which no other driver ever does) and it was found and sent back to me. I've got to stop being so careless because I know I won't continue to be so lucky.

You were all so worried that I wouldn't be able to post my iPod shuffle selections, weren't you?

Uuuuuggghhhhhh!

First, let me apologize for my tone in last night's blog. I was being terse so I could get to bed, I guess.

Anyone ever play the famous drinking game, Asshole? I've played it 2 or 3 times, and cannot remember for the life of me how to play it. All I remember is playing it once in college, being consistently of low rank, and being forced by my superiors to shout "Ugh!" over and over again. Good times.

Today that phrase is not just an exclamation, it is a metaphor for my physical condition. I appear to be, according to all the symptoms, hung over. I'll recap my night/morning and see if you can find out why I feel this way.

First, ran about 4 miles, getting semi-lost in the suburbs of Calgary. When done, drank entire bottle of water. Next walked to train to go to large mall. Bought movie ticket for Batman Begins and sought dinner. Ate tasty cheesesteak sub and copious amount of fries while watching Manu Ginobli school the Detroit Piston defense. Drank one Alexander Keith's and half a glass of water. Then it was off to the movie, where I ate a box of Reese's Pieces and drank 32 oz. of 7-Up. Then I walked to the train, walked to the hotel (total distance walked, maybe 1 mile), and did a bit of blogging. Feeling worn out and slight headache coming on, bought a bottle of water at a vending machine and drank about half before going to bed. Slept for about 4 hours (which is my minimum to feel worth a damn the next day) and woke up with a bigger headache. Drank rest of bottle of water. Two hours later ate muffin and drank orange juice. One hour later, took three Advil. One hour after that (right now) eyes are still bloodshot and stingy, stomach feels queasy, head still hurts, and vision not entirely clear, as if my eyes can't keep up with my head when it turns.

I had one fucking beer! That's it. Had some water and other fluids, plenty of food, and I feel like this? Mind you, it's not a bad hangover, but WTF? All I can say is "Ugh"!

Amother Meme

No, that's not a typo. It's alliteration. And a pun. Damn I'm clever.

I saw Batman tonight and liked it. I won't go into too much detail, but liked the story, liked the action, and liked Christian Bale, except he got pretty hammy delivering his lines while in the Batsuit. And strangely, he looked and sounded like Michael Keaton in the suit, too. And I was pretty annoyed when I first saw the reinterpreted Bat Mobile, but after seeing it in action, it kicks a Whole Lotta Ass.

That was an oblique Led Zeppelin reference.

Courtesy of Lulu, here's a Music Meme:

1. What is the total volume of music you own?

Ummm. I haven't done an inventory lately. My iPod has about 10.4 Gb used up. I'd place my CD amount at about 200-250 (which has a lot of overlap with the iPod) and cassettes maybe 100-150. No vinyl.

2. What's the last CD you bought?

The last CDs I received were "In Formal Introduction" and "Little Informal EP" by The City On Film. The last one I paid for was This Is Me Smiling, I think.

3. What song is playing right now?

The Simpsons end credits music, on TV.

4. What 5 songs do you listen to a lot?

I mostly do shuffle on the iPod, and I've had Hey Mercedes in the car recently, but I don't pick out specific songs to listen to often. I'll say the first 5 songs of "Loses Control" by Hey Mercedes: Quality Revenge at Last, It's Been a Blast, Playing Your Song, Knowing When to Stop, and The Boy Destroyers.

5. What 5 people will I pose these questions to?

Sorry, but I decline to pass this along.

It's 2 am and I need to go to bed. Reading over this post, I seem to get snobby when I'm almost asleep. Sorry about that.

Pants on Fire

I should probably stop calling myself a runner.

You see, runners do lots of things that I don't do, like run more than once a week.

They also don't do things that I do routinely, like cram cheesecake down my throat after I'm already full from a meal.

Can you tell I'm a little disappointed in myself?

Bleahhhhh!!!!!

Time to go turn off the TV and go to bed. Need more sleep.

Some light entertainment

I'm supposed to be doing homework, but my lazy, rationalizing mind keeps putting it off while I watch AFI's 100 greatest movie quotes. I'm digging it, but I wish they had refrained from having B through D List actors doing bad recitations of the lines. James Brolin's Bond screen test was pretty classic, though. Classically bad!

Here are some entertaining things I came across today:

1. From Post Secret, the fascinating confessional site, a post card from a true recycler.

2. I've been waiting a long time for a new Teen Girl Squad!

3. I'm already a freak about collecting every Doonesbury strip, and now along comes The Complete Calvin & Hobbes. I know my wife reads my posts to get gift ideas, but I'd rather one of you bought this for me first so we don't spend our money on it.* We have a baby coming you know. I don't dare buy it, and I'd feel guilty if she got it for me.

4. I'm sad to report that there actually will be a show starrring Jennifer Love Hewitt called "Ghost Whisperer" on CBS next season. I believe the working title was "A Huge, Steaming Pile of Rancid Crap Starring an Annoying, Skinny, Crappy Actress".

Back to the books.

* Please don't actually do this. I mustn't be encouraged.

That's My Philosophy

Via Bliss and others, here's my philosophical profile. I was a philosphy major in college, and it seems about right to me. I thought I'd be a little higher in the Kantian, but I can see how the others (except Hedonism) outscored it. Try it for yourselves, as if it were actually a valid measure of your metaphysical views.

You scored as Existentialism. Your life is guided by the concept of Existentialism: You choose the meaning and purpose of your life.



“Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.”

“It is up to you to give [life] a meaning.”

--Jean-Paul Sartre



“It is man's natural sickness to believe that he possesses the Truth.”

--Blaise Pascal



More info at Arocoun's Wikipedia User Page...

Existentialism		80%
Utilitarianism		70%
Justice (Fairness)		60%
Hedonism		60%
Kantianism		35%
Apathy		25%
Strong Egoism		20%
Nihilism		20%
Divine Command		0%

What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03)
created with QuizFarm.com

On the Road Again

I'm back traveling for work, in the Great White North, which is actually the Glorious Weather North. It was beautiful in Calgary today, but there's been a lot of flooding in the area from some recent, unrelenting rainfall. Glad I missed it.

You know the drill when I travel. I gripe about things I see on TV and about getting my ironing done. I just can't think of anything else. So you all must suffer with me.

Tonight was an interesting Jeopardy. All three contestants looked really young. None of them could have been older than 25, but it looked like the college tournament. And they all kicked ass! It was a tough night of questions (as far as my ability to answer was concerned) and they rose to the challenge admirably. Impressive.

As for my Fathers Day, I did a whole lot of nothing, and it was sweet. I finally saw Team America World Police and loved it. Don't worry, I won't be quoting it here on the blog. Okay, maybe just one:

"This is a nice limo you've got here."
"Yes it is. Now suck my cock."

Sure, they take everything to extremes, but it's funny, and they mock every one, every side. Anyone, conservative or liberal, who thinks the film supports their side is fooling themselves. It's making fun of you for sticking so dogmatically to your side.

I try not to talk too much about the searches that bring people here, but I've been getting a particular one a lot recently: people looking for info about the "Mercury Mariner commercial actress". I wrote about a Mariner commercial a while ago, but didn't notice anything special about the actress in it. But tonight I saw a commercial for the Mercury Montego, and it starred a pretty cute woman. Maybe that's what they're looking for. Who knows.

Now that I've helped you all get to sleep, it's time to watch Hell's Kitchen and iron my pants. Good night, and see you tomorrow.

She's With Stupid

As many of you may know, we experienced a night-time break in at our home a couple weeks ago that put quite a scare into us. Ever since then we've been a bit nervous and on edge about things. The guy who broke in had carjacked someone at knife-point just before getting to our house. Just this week there was another carjacking, this time at gunpoint, a few blocks from our house. When we heard the story on the news, we locked all the doors and windows and I started looking for something hard to swing.

Last night, we were watching Sideways (liked it, BTW) and there was a scene where someone is pounding loudly on a door. We both had quiet, near-panic reactions as soon as the knocking started. Later in the night, about 1 am, I heard a big truck backing up across the street from our house, which is not common at 1 am. I looked out the window to see what was going on, and realized why I could hear the truck at all: We had opened one of our living room windows during the movie, but because our blinds were still down, neither of us remembered it was open. We almost went to bed without closing it. If we had woke up this morning, and my wife noticed the open window, she would have been really freaked out. So it was a good thing I noticed it and closed it.

When my wife opened the front door to leave this morning, what do you think she saw that I had left the night before after rushing home with movies and milkshakes?



CD Player: The City On Film, In Formal Introduction!!! New CD from Bob Nanna's solo project came in the mail today. My wife got it for me as a Fathers day gift. She's the best!

My Son, The Brilliant Artiste

*Disclaimer: Page may take a while to load. We appreciate your patience.

Until the floods of protest mail come in from my disgruntled fans, I'm suspending the CBK Triple Play. Sorry about that. But I have something even more entertaining this week.

Entertainment Weekly ran an article on some photographer dude who is famous for sticking a camera in celebrities' faces to capture their vulnerability and humanity... and blemishes. Nice work if you can get it. Anyway, my son was bored, started looking through the magazine, and asked me if he could draw on people in it. I said sure, as long as he didn't draw on any words or use a Sharpie. Last night I found his handy work, and it is pure genius! See for yourself:

Angelina


Usher


Colin

He scratched out the pupils. Is that bad, psychologically speaking?

Tammy Faye

I guess he thought she needed more makeup.

Jim


Chuck Berry


Prince

Anyone noticing a trend in the last couple foreheads and noses?

Eminem

Um, no that doesn't look at all like a ball gag sewn to his mouth, why do you ask?

And lastly, Crotch Shot


I'm sure that some child psychologist could tell my wife and me exactly what these mean, but I'm equally sure that we don't want to know.

iPod: "Lucky Denver Mint" and "For Me This Is Heaven" by Jimmy East World, "My Sweet One" by Phish,"Old Mother Reagan" by Violent Femmes, "Prurient Bess" by Fossil, "You Think I Ain't Worth a Dollar, but I Feel Like a Millionaire" by Queens of the Stone Age, "Never the Machine Forever" by Soundgarden, "Killing a Camera (live)" by Braid, "Bruce" by Foo Fighters, and "The Other Side of Summer" by Elvis Costello.

On Working With Your Spouse

I was an optimist at first. "We can handle it" I said. "We can have fun, I love looking over and seeing you everyday. We can save gas by driving in together."

The driving thing ended pretty quickly. I think I'm kind of a freak because I don't get the "If I spend one more minute with you I'm gonna scream!" syndrome; but I certainly understand it happens, and that people do need their own time and space. That was fine by me, because I like listening to Colin Cowherd on ESPN radio, and blasting my CDs. The biggest issue is how differently we deal with each other on work matters, as opposed to how we would treat anyone else. If there's frustration in anything, it comes out right away, and we second guess each other all the time. If you think I'm writing about this because something happened today, then you're right. We're all good now, and back to smiling and flirting. As nice as that is, it's going to be better when we're not working together.

So, if you must work in the same place as your significant other, make sure it's in a large organization and that you are separated in different departments that don't deal with each other. If you are recently starting a relationship with someone in your office, someone should quit and find a new job.

And if you find yourself in the strange situation where you get transferred to a new city by your company, and you meet the woman of your dreams in the new office, and then you move in with her, and then you get married, and neither of you have better job prospects, the best option you have is to knock her up so that she can leave the job when the baby comes and take courses for a new career and never go back to the other job.

iPod: "Break Your Heart" by Barenaked Ladies, "Jungle Rock" by The Replacements, "How to Take a Fall" and "Speed Trials" by Elliott Smith and "Summer Salt" by Braid.

On Old Age

As you may know, I love the magazine Entertainment Weekly. Once a month they include a supplement in their magazine called Listen2This, focusing on music of the day. Mostly this section seems to be where they let interns write articles, because it's so poorly written compared to the rest of the magazine. This month's edition, though, made me take notice for a couple reasons.

First, they did an interview with the Foo Fighters, and took the admirable course of interviewing each member individually, in their own environs, instead of all together in the studio where Dave Grohl and Taylor Hawkins would monopolize the conversation. Don't get me wrong, I love Dave Grohl, but it was very interesting to learn about the other members' personalities and thoughts on the band.

Second, they did a silly interview with The Offspring. They're touring with the Warped Tour this summer, or something like that. I never liked The Offspring. I always placed them one notch above Ugly Kid Joe on the "Bad Rock Band/Novelty Act" Meter. When I heard them called "punk" back in the day I was aghast! Um, no! Their guitarist is named "Noodles". They're not punk. Anyway, they seemed like nice but boring guys in the interview, but the thing that shocked me was how old the members all look now! The band broke out about 10 years ago, right? Apparently Dexter was already 35-36 at the time. Wow!

Even more shocking than that, though, was the article on Dinosaur Jr.'s reunion. I've enjoyed what I've heard from them, but I wouldn't call myself a fan. I've wanted to check out more of their music for a while, and I LOVE how J Mascis plays guitar. It's always immediately recognizable and just so ripping. Great stuff. Anyway look at these pictures of J Mascis:


J in 1992


J present day

Man, does he look old now! Lou Barlow, on the other hand, looks exactly the same as in his Sebadoh days. J looks like that comedian on Best Week Ever who was in the Dave Matthews Band video for "Everyday" hugging everyone, but without the trucker hat. I was just blown away. Time sure goes by quickly. I can't believe I'm 31. When people meet me for the first time, they see a full-grown adult, while I still think of myself as recently graduated from adolescence. Scary.

I got to thinking about old age yesterday on another subject, as well. My wife and I work in the same office, and we get a little frisky with each other now and then, and get ourselves worked up. When we get home, though, other things get in the way and we don't end up closing the deal we struck earlier in the day. So last night I said, "we should come home and have Nooners during the day." I get excited at the thought of Nooners, but I realized that doing it is a sign of getting old. We can't stay awake long enough at night to have sex, so we have to steal way from work to get busy? That's a sad realization.

I'll still take the Nooner, though.

iPod: "Moron" by The Dead Milkmen, "Walking Wounded" by Buffalo Tom, "Fallout" by Tanya Donelly, "The Soul Cages" by Sting, "Bridge to Canada" by Braid, and "Seen the Doctor" by Michael Penn.

In My Mouth and On My Fingers: Cheetos. Yummmm.

Random Junk

I'm actually pretty busy today, and don't have much on my mind to write about. Just some random junk flitting through my head:

1. Chinese blogging (found via Jinx of Spades)

So the Chinese government has opened up its cyberspace to bloggists, but is cracking down on the content. Quelle surprise! This article, though, indicates that the censors aren't doing a very good job. The censorship thing doesn't really get to me much. Sure, I wish they didn't do it, but there are more serious things I wish China would stop doing.

Speaking of China, here's a little story that makes me look bad and shows what an impressionable, naive youth I was. Back in 1989 when the student protests happened in Tiananmen Square, and the military went in and kicked some butt, a bunch of students in my high school wore black armbands to mourn those killed and protest the Chinese government. My friend got the bright idea to wear a red armband to protest the irresponsible and inflammatory actions of the students and support the position of the Chinese government. I soon saw the "merit" of my friend's view (which I'm sure was just a ruse for him to rile up the school's hippies) and wore one myself. My position was not that I supported Communism, but that the government had a right to control the riotous situation caused by the students. Yeah, I was an imbecile. But as most high school movements are, both armbands were empty gestures by kids getting their feet wet with activism.

So anyway, it's not the censorship that makes me take notice, but this little fact:

"The portal was launched May 26, and 5 million blogs have since been created, Microsoft said."

Holy crap! These people are starved for expression and connection. I wonder if anyone's reading or only writing? That's a lot of new sites. Even more amongst which my exceptionally trivial one can now be lost.

2. Ivy

How long have walls been a feature of mankind's presence? I can never remember how long humanids have inhabited the Earth (Bliss, a little help?) but it seems that the evolution of ivy has occurred relatively quickly. How could this plant have changed so much as to grow along flat, featureless walls? I looked at the base of one today, and it seems the bottom has grown so thick as to support everything above without reference to the wall at all. Amazing. I guess I'm just underestimating the resolve and capabilities of plants. I guess if weeds can learn to grow right underneath similar-looking garden plants to escape detection in the space of one year, then ivy's had a long time to hone its Spiderman-like skills.

Sorry, that's it. Now work beckons.

iPod: "Firestarter" by Jimmy Eat World, "Leggo my Ego" by The Dead Milkmen, "Harrison Ford" by Braid, "I Can Hear You" by They Might Be Giants, "Slave to the Traffic Light (White Tape version)" by Phish

P.S.- A big, "main post" welcome to new readers and commenters! Thanks so much for stopping by.

Take the Fatherhood Test

Don't worry, guys, I'm not talking "paternity test" here, so that little indiscretion a few years back isn't going to bite you in the ass... Yet. I'm talking about what it takes to be a good father. Do you have what it takes to be a positive father-figure in a child's life? Let's see what criteria one would have to meet to pass paternal muster:

1. Do you like golf?
2. Do you like tools, but aren't very good at using them?
3. Do you like watching TV and hogging the remote control?
4. Do you refuse to ask for directions when driving somewhere?
5. Do you mow the lawn frequently?
6. Do you like beer?
7. Do you like burping?
8. Do you like farting?
9. Do you show love to your family members by giving them money?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you have the right stuff to be a dad. According to Hallmark/American Greetings/other card companies this is the list of what makes a good father. If more than one of these apply to you, you are an exceptional father. If they ALL apply to you, then get ready for the elusive Father of the Year award (yes, the coffee cup one). Hopefully, my disgust is apparent by now (hahaha, a parent! That's a good one!)

Even more enraging than the trivializing, pigeon-holing portrayal of fatherhood by these cards is the realization of how many I embody. Yes, I like golf, I fart and burp in the presence of my son routinely (to make him laugh), I love tinkering with things with tools (but don't really know what I'm doing), and watch a lot of TV and constantly flip channels. Stereotypes are the worst when they're right.

Now ask yourselves if any of these virtuous qualities apply to your own fathers. If none do, then you're just fucked as far as finding a good card for him. My dad is a very smart, very funny/witty, non-emotional guy who likes coins and stamps, philosophy, trivia, and the Peanuts comic strip. He doesn't play golf, but used to watch it on TV a lot. I don't recall my dad ever fixing something with tools, or mowing our short-lived lawn. He rarely drinks alcohol, and the only beer I know he likes is Stroh's (R.I.P.). And the only way he shows love, really, is by laughing at his sons' jokes. So for the last two years I've given him the "If I'm weird it's because of you, so thanks for that" card. It's just too strange to get him a serious/sappy card. I did that once, and that was under circumstances where the importance of letting him know how much I love him outweighed the awkwardness of saying that to a man who I couldn't remember ever hugging. He'd had a heart attack earlier in the year and I figured I better do it before it was too late. I consider him a good father because he's taught me a lot, and even as I grow older and learn more about the world, he still occupies a place of high esteem in my mind. I'm always striving to reach his level, but probably never will.

I suppose that's the kind of thing I should put into a card, but doing so also makes me cry like a baby. It took me 21 years to do it the first time, and it's only been 10 since, so I may have some time still.

iPod: "Wolfman's Brother" by Phish, "Iron & Stone" and "Up in Arms" by Foo Fighters, "In My Tree" by Pearl Jam, "Long Island" by That Dog., "(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love and Understanding" by Elvis Costello, "The King of Bedside Manor" by Barenaked Ladies, "The Ocean" and "Moon" by Fossil

You only have yourselves to blame.

Due mostly to the complete and utter absence of participation in last week's Triple Play (and due a little to my inability to remember it's Friday until it's already noon on Friday) there will be no Triple Play this week.

Unless I throw something together later tonight.

But for now, I want to discuss something serious, and I want all of your feedback. Feel free to comment anonymously, but please make your opinion known, as you will be helping to decide the answer to a very important question:

Should my wife and I circumcise our newborn son?

I'm sure you all have strong feelings based on your own experiences, and please, don't feel awkward in considering my son's promising future sex life. But there are some factors you should probably know before offering your opinion:

1. Our 5 year old son is circumcised.
2. I have what you might call a hooded sweatshirt. With the hood on and the drawstring pulled tight.

How's that for too much information?

So what do you think? Should we or shouldn't we? My wife has been doing some reading on the procedures, pros and cons, and effects on the child; and she still can't really decide. I obviously like the way I am (no lube needed), but I grew up envying the statuesque, helmeted soldiers I saw in porn mags and movies, which seemed to be firmly in the majority. So it's hard for us to make a decision.

On another issue, I've threatened in the past to put up an Audioblog, but chickened out. I may have to reconsider thanks to the entertaining things our son said last night. To merely type the words here will not come close to conveying the humor and shock of the situations. Even having me or him repeat them in an Audioblog will detract from the original. Ideally we would have had a video camera, that he couldn't see, recording him when he said them. Maybe someday they'll invent cameras you can implant in your head that you can use to show everyone the funny, amazing, horrible things you see. And sell the footage to TV shows and make some dough.

iPod: "Polyester Bride" by Liz Phair, "Elephant" by Braid, "Red Oyster Cult" by Guster, and "Thief" by Belly.

The Post Where I Inadvertently Make My Wife Feel Bad By Being Honest

Last night I stayed up late to read blogs, and ended up checking out a new band and trying to find info on Moneen, a band I've seen live and would like to hear more of. The new band is Motion City Soundtrack, and I'm really digging their new album. You can hear it on their website (which appears to be down right now). Do they remind anyone else of The Outfield, from the 80s (still together, btw!)? You know: "I Don't Want to Lose Your Love Tonight"? I really liked that band, with the high-pitched singing and harmonies. The new MCS album reminds me of them (not every song), but with more energy and speed. MCS is coming to my town with This Is Me Smiling in July, and I. will. be. there.

Anyway, I started feeling a bit sad about how I no longer listen to a lot of music, see a lot of movies, play my guitar, or write songs anymore. I've taken a different path now as a family/career man. There's just not the time or money to do those things anymore. I've got responsibilities now, and I just have to let go of the old loves to some extent. That's why I subscribe to Entertainment Weekly. It's my only source for info on what's going on in the entertainment world, and it gives me a heads-up on things I otherwise would miss. BTW, how did I discover Hey Mercedes? I saw their name on the college music chart published in EW one week and downloaded some songs. I don't think I could ever repay that debt to EW, considering the joy I've received from the band. This decline in consuming pop culture products is not new. I've been slowly reducing my intake ever since I got involved with the woman that would become my first wife, when I had to compromise on what I would have done by myself to do something with another person.

I certainly don't blame my ex-wife, my wife now, or my sons (age 5 and yet-to-be born). I love my life now and feel I'm on a truly happy path (as long as I can make enough money to get rid of my insane student debt). It's just like being sad that I can't do a cartwheel anymore, or spend summer evenings playing whiffleball until it's too dark to see the ball. Life moves on, and you move on to new places, people, and activities. Even though the old things are gone, there's always new things to love and enjoy. There's nothing in the entire world, past or present, that I would trade my family for. Absolutely nothing.

So enough of the wistful writing, how about some good-natured griping? Have you ever stayed up late and got hungry for a treat? And when you looked in the freezer/fridge/cupboard you didn't see anything that appealed to you? So you got a bright idea to make something up with ingredients you have at hand? Like graham crackers, peanut butter, chocolate chips and Cool Whip? Hey, me too! That's what happened to me last night, in fact. So I broke up the graham crackers and put them in a bowl, put in some peanut butter, mixed/crushed it up, added the chocolate chips, mixed it up some more, put it in the microwave for 45 seconds, stirred the melty mix, and topped it generously with Cool Whip. We've all been there, right? Well, at about the time I started this plan, my wife woke up and came into the kitchen and "poo-pooed" my culinary creation! She was not impressed, and let me know it. I've never seen someone so judgmental about dessert. So what if she was right that it wouldn't actually taste very good. That's beside the point. (I ate it all, of course.) She's my wife. She should support my creativity with a smile on her face. Plus she's pregnant, so I'm surprised she didn't want some herself.

I love you so much, Sweetie! :-) :-*

iPod: "Waterproof" by Thanks to Gravity, switched to MCS on purevolume.com.

P.S.- I also ran last night! It's been over a month since I last ran. I don't know why, but I looked outside at about 8 and just decided to do it. I'm going to try to do it every night at around 8 from now on. Let's hope I can keep it up.

P.P.S- You know I was joking in the dessert part, right?

A cool waste of time

Cooler than this site, anyway.

55 Optical Illusions and Visual Phenomena
Courtesy of Bliss and his friend.

Lots of science-talk, but really neat images and effects. Check it out.

iPod: "Clobbered" by Buffalo Tom and "Work" by Jimmy Eat World.

You're all dying to know, aren't you?

Here are the answers to last Friday's Triple Play.

1. Soap Bubble

I haven't played this game much. When I tried it last week I couldn't get past the second screen. Nobody's in the office today, so I'll try to get to the end and let you know how long it takes.

2. The Water Jug Puzzle Solution (with the status of each jug in parentheses):

Step 1. Pour A into B (A-3, B-5, C-0)
Step 2. Pour B into C (A-3, B-2, C-3)
Step 3. Pour C into A (A-6, B-2, C-0)
Step 4. Pour B into C (A-6, B-0, C-2)
Step 5. Pour A into B (A-1, B-5, C-2)
Step 6. Pour B into C (A-1, B-4, C-3)
Step 7. Pour C into A (A-4, B-4, C-0)

3. Significant Other Kevin Bacon Game.

A.1.Tom Cruise-Kevin Bacon (A Few Good Men)
Kevin Bacon-Brad Pitt (Sleepers)
Brad Pitt-Robert Redford (Spy Game)
Robert Redford-Willem Defoe (The Clearing)
Willem Defoe-Tom Berenger (Platoon)
Tom Berenger-Mimi Rogers (Someone to Watch Over Me)

A.2. Tom Cruise-Kevin Bacon (AFGM)
Kevin Bacon-Matt Dillon (Wild Things)
Matt Dillon-Nicole Kidman (To Die For)

A.3. Tom Cruise-Kevin Bacon (AFGM)
Kevin Bacon-Jack Nicholson (AFGM) [A cheap move, I know]
Jack Nicholson-Greg Kinnear (As Good As It Gets)
Greg Kinnear-Katie Holmes (The Gift)

B.1. Brad Pitt-Kevin Bacon (Sleepers)
Kevin Bacon-Demi Moore (AFGM)
Demi Moore-John Cusack (One Crazy Summer)
John Cusack-Jack Black (High Fidelity)
Jack Black-Gwyneth Paltrow (Shallow Hal)

B.2. Brad Pitt-Kevin Bacon (Sleepers)
Kevin Bacon-Jennifer Aniston (Picture Perfect)

C.1. Ben Affleck-Skellan Skarsgaard (Good Will Hunting)
Skellan Skarsgaard-Robert Deniro (Ronin)
Robert Deniro-Kevin Bacon (Sleepers)
Kevin Bacon-Robert Deniro (Sleepers) [This is probably cheating, backtracking like that]
Robert Deniro-Edward Norton (The Score) [Directed by Frank Oz!]
Edward Norton-Ralph Fiennes (Red Dragon)
Ralph Fiennes-Jennifer Lopez (Maid in Manhattan)

C.2. Ben Affleck-Matt Damon (Good Will Hunting)
Matt Damon-Tom Hanks (Saving Private Ryan)
Tom Hanks-Kevin Bacon (Apollo 13)
Kevin Bacon-Christian Slater (Murder in the First)
Christian Slater-Marisa Tomei (Untamed Heart) [Pulled that one out of my ass!]
Marisa Tomei-Tom Wilkinson (In the Bedroom)
Tom Wilkinson-Mark Ruffalo (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)
Mark Ruffalo-Jennifer Garner (13 Going on 30)

D.1. Demi Moore-Kevin Bacon (AFGM)
Kevin Bacon-Brad Pitt (Sleepers)
Brad Pitt-Harrison Ford (The Devil's Own)
Harrison Ford-Bonnie Bedelia (Presumed Innocent)
Bonnie Bedelia-Bruce Willis (Die Hard, Die Hard 2)

D.2. Demi Moore-Kevin Bacon (AFGM)
Kevin Bacon-Tom Hanks (Apollo 13)
Tom Hanks-Matt Damon (Saving Private Ryan)
Matt Damon-Sean William Scott (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back) [Though they're never in a scene together, I don't think]
Sean William Scott-Ashton Kutcher (Dude, Where's My Car?)

E. Elizabeth Taylor-Paul Newman (Can on a Hot Tin Roof)
Paul Newman-Tom Cruise (The Color of Money)
Tom Cruise-Kevin Bacon (AFGM)
Kevin Bacon-Christian Slater (Murder in the First)
Christian Slater-Morgan Freeman (Hard Rain)
Morgan Freeman-Clint Eastwood (Unforgiven)
Clint Eastwood-Richard Burton (Where Eagles Dare) [A great movie, and subject of an Iron Maiden song]

If you have shorter chains or ways around my cheats, let me know in the comments. I'd love to see them, and will still give out precious points!


iPod: "You" by Fossil, "Do You Want Me To Stay" by Weezer, "These Apples" by Barenaked Ladies, "Bye" by Elliott Smith, "Electricity" by 311, "Spiceman" by Thanks to Gravity, "On a Plain" by Nirvana, "Divorce Song" by Liz Phair, "Skyway" by The Replacements and "Lipstick Vogue" by Elvis Costello.

"My name is Phansamorn Changkiendee"

"But you can call me Lek."

I've just violated someone's privacy in a big way, but it sounds so funny I had to use it. My wife found it in an online class introduction. Where the hell does "Lek" come from? Why not Phan? Or Morn?

So all you Triple Play-ers are running out of time. (Jade and, um, no one, I'm looking in your direction.) Tomorrow is answer day.

I watched "Hell's Kitchen" last night on Fox. Insane. This chef guy routinely swears at and insults employees and customers without hesitation. And he's supposed to be an internationally renowned restaurant owner? There are more bleeps on one episode of this show than a whole season worth of shows on all the other major networks combined. But it's cheap, trashy reality TV, so me and my wife will be watching it this summer. That's about all the TV I'll be watching. With homework and blogging I have barely turned on the tube after the major season finales. I need to be reading more. I'm in the middle if Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson, and I love it, but I keep getting these damn Entertainment Weeklys every week that I HAVE to read. How else can I keep up with pop culture since I'm not much of a consumer of it anymore. Actually, I love the magazine, but my reading time is pretty much confined to when I'm takin' care o' business, if you know what I mean. If I could bring a TV or computer in there, I probably would. (Sorry about that.) I need better reading discipline. And exercising discipline, too. Ugh.

iPod: "For All to See" by Buffalo Tom, "Boat of Car" (a very strange song) by They Might Giants, "Acapulco" by Weezer, "I Am One" by Smashing Pumpkins, "Rainy Day" by Guster, and "The Passing of America" by Moneen (a band I'd like to get know better).

The Boring News Report

- It's relentlessly raining here today.

- We finally finished putting together our baby's crib last night after exchanging a defective part that wasn't fitting.

- We took our son to his first day of summer camp today. It's going to be a very fun summer there, but he was nervous and didn't know what to do. Add to that lots of older, strange kids and strange counselors, and it can be a scary thing for a five year old. He was very brave and was smiling when we left. I hope it gets fun and comfortable for him soon. Luckily there are 2 nice, older girls there from his school who have been going there for years, and they will take care of him.

- I took an exam (one of three national certifying exams) this weekend and passed.

- We're closing on our refinanced mortgage today.

That's it. I told you it was boring. I can't think of anything interesting to talk about right now.

iPod: "Death and Destruction" by Weezer and "Scarborough Fair" by Simon and Garfunkel.

I sense great fear and confusion in you.

Maybe that's why no one has taken a shot at any of the Triple Play questions. Or maybe you're tired of my pretentious games? If so, let me know that, too. I don't discourage negative comments. It means that at least you're reading.

As evidenced by the title, I saw Episode III last night. I liked it, but it was silly. Sure, the transformation of Anakin was abrupt, but I didn't agree with critics who said that the reasons behind his conversion were flimsy and/or non-existent. There were plenty of the annoying Lucas add-ons that are not at all consistent with the original trilogy, like R2-D2 kicking some droid butt with gadgets and abilities he mysteriously loses before Episode 4 begins. He also made some subtle (the ship that takes baby Leia to her hiding place is the same one that is being fired on at the beginning of Ep 4) and not so subtle (everyone's uniforms go from looking cool and hip to matching the ugly ones used in Ep 4) transition efforts at the end. Another silly thing I noticed: apparently they had breast implants a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

The fight scenes were pretty cool, the violence more graphic, and the tone darker. But the script is God, God Awful! Lucas, can't you hire Akiva Goldsman to consult on some of this dialogue? Jesus H. Christ! It made even good actors like Ewan McGregor and Natalie Portman look like podunk dinner theater hacks. But Obi Wan kicks some butt, and is a great character.

Okay, that's enough of the geek talk. "Talk To You Later".

P.S.- I can't resist throwing out trivia stuff. Who sang the song in quotes above, and what was that band's biggest hit?

Triple Play, Baby!

1. Internet game: Soap Bubble. Get the helpless bubble out of the deep, dark, dangerous cave. I haven't played it that much yet, so I don't know how long it takes, but it looks fun.

2. Brain Teaser: The Three Jugs of Water Problem. I was looking for a puzzle similar to this I've done before, but found this first. It's reminiscent of the problem in Die Hard With a Vengeance that Bruce and Samuel need to figure out to stop a bomb. Here's the puzzle:

Two friends who have an eight-quart jug of water (Jug A) wish to share it evenly. They also have two empty jars, one holding five quarts (Jug B), the other three (Jug C). How can they each measure exactly 4 quarts of water? Describe each step you take to get divide the water in two halves. If you would like a visual aid to help, you can go to this page, which has a Java diagram that lets you pour water between the three jugs. I got it in 7 steps. I don't know if there's a shorter solution, but I'd love to see if anyone can come up with one. Good luck.

3. Trivia: The Significant Other Kevin Bacon Game. I just made it up, and I think it's fun. Start with the actors on the left, and link them to Kevin Bacon. Then go from Kevin Bacon to their ex/current significant other. I tried to make this game totally out of my head, and only used IMDB to confirm things I thought were right. Aren't I special. What that means is that there are probably shorter ways to connect these people than I came up with, so there are bonus points to be had. There's one rule - you can't use any films that both of the love-connected actors are in (so no "Seven", no "Gigli", no "Far and Away", etc.). Here are the lists:

A.1. Tom Cruise - Kevin Bacon - Mimi Rogers
2. Tom Cruise - Kevin Bacon - Nicole Kidman
3. Tom Cruise - Kevin Bacon - Katie Holmes

B.1. Brad Pitt - Kevin Bacon - Gwyneth Paltrow
2. Brad Pitt - Kevin Bacon - Jennifer Aniston

C.1. Ben Affleck - Kevin Bacon - Jennifer Lopez
2. Ben Affleck - Kevin Bacon - Jennifer Garner

D.1. Demi Moore - Kevin Bacon - Bruce Willis
2. Demi Moore - Kevin Bacon - Ashton Kutcher

E. Super Bonus Question! Elizabeth Taylor - Kevin Bacon - Richard Burton

iPod: "S.O.S." by The Breeders and "Only in Dreams" by Weezer.

Welcome, new blogs!

You may have noticed that there are two new blog links over there on the right:

View Lulu, an entertaining, sometimes saucy, blog written by a young woman in San Fran. Plus, she came to my site and left a comment wishing us well after the break-in and calling my wife "lovely". So that's an automatic shout-out. She also mentions "big boobs" in her tagline, so how could I not recommend her?

The Dialog Blog is a fucking brilliant idea. This guy overhears random conversations and types them out on his blog. Genius. Even if not all of the transcripts are funny or weird, the fly-on-the-well voyeurism makes it a CBK "Best Bet". (If there were such a thing. Anyone remember that from TV Week magazine?)

Visit these people, and enjoy.

iPod: "What You Wish For" and "Barrel of a Gun" by Guster. (Weird that two songs from the same atist AND album came on so close to each other in the shuffle.)

Man, how things have changed.

Have you seen this story?

Wachovia apologizes for ties to slavery

At one time in my life, say age 17-25, I may have understood the laws that gave rise to this story: cities requiring banks who do business within their limits to disclose their involvement with, and profiting from, slavery. I would have been all, "Yeah, Man, slavery was so bad! We can't just sweep it under the rug and forget about it. Bring it out in the open, let the healing begin by shaming those capitalist pigs! We can't let them get away with it!"

But things have changed. I don't know if it's more of a focus on money in my life, or the fact that I understand a bit more about business and the world we live in. I'm still pretty liberal, but I'm inclined to call "Bullshit" on these laws. I'll refrain from an uncontrolled rant about their stupidity, and leave the floor open for others to explain it to me, from people who may have more insight or experience with the reasoning behind them. But here's my initial take on why I don't agree.

Why would cities want to hurt the business of its banks? Requiring them to disclose involvement in slavery, almost 150 years ago, will only provoke people to stop banking with them, which will cause the banks to suffer, possibly close down some branches and lay off employees. Now you (the City Council) have directly hurt your tax base, because you no longer collect property tax from the banks and income tax from the employees. You also cause reduced economic activity in the area where the bank used to be, further hurting economic well-being for your residents, and taking money out of the city's coffers. I know these effects are not necessary results, but they are a likely possibility and aren't countered by any advantage I can see. What could possibly be the source of these laws except some minority special interest members who were outraged to find out banks that still exist once took collateral in the form of slaves. They probably saw something on 60 Minutes and started a petition campaign. It's ridiculous.

Plus, where does it stop? Say I want to open a sub shop in Chicago. Say my great, great, great grandfather was a plantation owner, who was notorious for abusing his slaves and using them as bets in card games. What if I had an ancestor who was a slave-ship captain? Would I have to disclose those facts before I could apply for a business license? Before I could enter into contracts within the city? What's the difference for banks? What is the point of punishing anyone, companies or individuals, who have a tenuous connection to those in the distant past who took actions that were perfectly legal at the time, but which we find morally reprehensible now? What is to be gained from that? Awareness? How much awareness do we need? Why does awareness of how your bank's predecessor conducted business help you, unless it's information that helps you decide whether to bank with them or not? And we come again to how this can only be seen as an unnecessarily punitive measure against banks that hurts them, and therefore, the economy. Why else did Wachovia feel the need to publicly apologize?

Feel free to let me know your thoughts. I may have my opinion, but that can always be changed with more facts and arguments that make sense.

Reading this story, I'm reminded of the SNL commercial that spoofed the Charles Schwab commercials: Grayson Moorhead Securities. That one was hilarious.

iPod: "Froggie" by The Presidents of the U.S.A., "Meet James Ensor" by They Might Be Giants, "Breath" by Pearl Jam, "Butterflies" by Fo Fighters, "Election Day" by The Replacements, and "Now I'm Exhausted" by Braid.

Answers to your pressing questions!

Hi there! I know Jade still has a clue to work through, but it was such a giveaway that I'm just going to tell you the answers to the CBK Triple Play.

1. Steady Hand - It's a joke game. You're supposed to be concentrating on the screen, navigating that little dot through the labyrinth, when "Shazam!" the scary fat guy jumps out. At first I thought it meant I hit the side, but after a couple times I suspected foul play. A check of the Gorilla Mask forum confirmed my suspicions. So I decided to play the joke on all of you. You're welcome!

2. You're the Detective - Dearest Wife got this one right, but it was a flawed puzzle in my mind. I was in a hurry to post something and decided to use this one. The original used composers' names, with Schubert being upset at being called "sherbert". I decided it might be fun to change the names to Clue characters, and the Mustard/Poupon fit perfectly. The clue doesn't really give you enough rules to make the answer a necessity (such as "each room has only one person, except where the killer is"). One of them, Miss Scarlet, isn't accounted for at all, so you assume she's in the only room left, but it's possible that she's the killer. And loving or hating books doesn't necessarily mean you have to be in or out of the library/study. All in all, kind of a weak brain teaser, but better than the others I found. I'm losing confidence in this aspect of the Triple Play. Perhaps I'll start to make up my own.

3. Sibling Rivalry - Jade got all of them right, except for Jeff Bridges. Since he costarred in Fabulous Baker Boys with his less famous brother, Beau, it's pretty obvious once you hear that title. Beau played the father in The Hotel New Hampshire and the two-timing father of Jerry O'Connell's hot-prospect quarterback in Jerry Maguire.

4. Indian Rubber - Indian rubber is the rule whereby you can throw the ball at baserunners and hit them to get them out. It's damn fun. For best results, only use a Whiffleball or tennis ball.

iPod: "Capricorn (live) by Braid, "On a Sunday" by Jimmy Eat World, "Oh Penny" by Hey Mercedes, "American English" by Idelwild, "Stand by Me (shirtless, crowd-surfing live version)" by Guster, "Perfect Circle" by R.E.M., "Golgi Apparatus" by Phish. [Every song that came on during this post was a song I love. Usually I skip over, or fail to mention, less worthy titles. Sweet.]