New CBK Drawing

Juicy A, from The Intersection of 13 and 13 has submitted this masterpiece.

It may not look a whole lot like me, but it certainly portrays more "me" than any of the other submission so far. Click on the image for a larger version.



If you can't read them, the CDs say "CD Trivia Challenge" "Rush" "Jimmy Eat World" and "Hey Mercedes". The book says "Random Trivia". The boys' shirts say "Cutest Baby Ever" and "Soccer Champ". The "35" on my Bruins jersey is Andy Moog's number. I actually have a Moog jersey with the name and numbers on it!

iPod: "Symphony No. 5, 4th Movement" by Dmitri Shostakovich and "Saturday's Alright for Fighting" by Elton John.

Don't Go To Law School

Unless you have a big trust-fund or rich grandparents to pay the tuition, know that you want to practice tax law, or are guaranteed a six figure income coming out. Otherwise, the debt you incur will ruin your chances of living the life you want to lead.

It's not that I want a BMW, a huge house, and a live-in cook. Okay, I do want those things. But right now all I want is a house with more than 2000 square feet in a decent area. Too bad I need to make about $150K to get that. And this is UTAH! WTF? Why is Utah so damn expensive? Apparently, people move here from other, wealthier states because they actually WANT to! How the hell did that happen? Motherfuckers!

iPod: "Sweetness" by Jimmy Eat World, "Divers" by Braid, and "Conclusion" by The City on Film.

Friday Kid Blogging: ¡La Cucaracha!

Do You Like 'Lost'?

Do you also like wasting countless hours in front of your computer at work, ignoring even your usual time-wasting activities?

Then here's a site for you!

The Lost Experience Clues Blog.

"The Lost Experience" is a multimedia game made by the producers of the show that is designed to give background and insight into the mystery of the show. But they don't give such information easily! The blog will help you figure it all out, though.

I'll probably see you all (and my family) sometime next week after I'm through it all.

iPod: "Alive in the Chase" by This Is Me Smiling and "How a Helicopter Sounds" by The City on Film.

Reflections on American Idol

1. Katharine McPhee pretty much blew it, but that's okay because it's a guy's turn to win.

2. For all the big name guests and celebrities they get in the audience, they sure get the scum-sucking dregs from the songwriting barrel when making the contestants' new singles. Oh. My. Gawd! Those songs were awful!

I guess there's no real telling how America will vote. Kat looks better on an album cover, but Taylor way outperformed her.

And that's all I'll say about that.

Running out of things to say

Here's another artistic interpretation of me, this time by Lisa the Knitter.



She's actually met me in person, when I had my ill-advised beard.

The Desperate Housewives finale was kind of blah. The only thing I care about is what happened to Mike, and what's the deal with Orson? The Invasion finale was good, and left a big question hanging. Too bad the show probably won't come back to answer it.

I'm eagerly awaiting the 24 finale tonight! Since it's a two-hour episode, I'm guessing they're not just going to send a jet to sink the sub with a missile. Should be good. Last night I had an intense, 24-themed dream where I was Jack and went to a library to thwart some terrorist plan. When I got there, though, the terrorists were much better prepared than I had anticipated, and had a huge advantage. I exchanged fire with several of them for a while. Strangely, I had a machine gun that I was firing, but it wasn't very effective. It was like those rapid-fire BB guns you see at a carnival or amusement park game, where you try to shoot out a star shape from a piece of paper. I had to shoot some bad guy in the face for a long time before he relented. I also had a hand gun that shot normally. The quarters were very close, and I don't know how I escaped unscathed, but I shot a bunch of people and got out. I made my getaway on a bike, and for some reason I had my son with me. He didn't look like The Bear, but he was about that age. I rode away from the library, trying to avoid pursuit, and the last thing I remember was ducking into a convenience store. I think I also had a dream about the Boston Bruins. They were playing well, and Andy Moog was back in goal for them (presumably having come out of retirement). Weird.

Also, the Lost finale this week looks OFF THE HOOK!!!! Can't wait for that.

Kind of like you can't wait for worthwhile reading. ;-)

iPod: I haven't been paying attention. "Anderson Mesa" by Jimmy Eat World is on now.

Friday Kid Blogging

Sure, your kids may be cute... but are they NEENJA?



Here's CBK Jr. using his neenja skills to scoot his butt across the floor and eat some dog food.



And something neat happened last night. I saw a commercial for the Hummer H3 that I could tell was made in Calgary. I always wonder where car commercials are filmed, and it was cool to recognize the location.

Another random thing, Eagles of Death Metal played Letterman last night, but their drummer, Josh Homme (aka the brains behind Queens of the Stone Age) wasn't playing with them. And I stayed up to see him, too. Bummer.

iPod: Nothing because I wrote this post while on an annoying work call.

Just some stuff

1. Bye, bye, Elliott Yamin. You're a nice guy with a great voice. Hopefully not winning American Idol will mean good things for your music career.

2. This looks pretty fun, and not entirely blasphemous. Blogging the Bible. There are three entries so far, and you can find links to them on that site.

3. I received two submissions (so far) for the "Draw Me" feature. First is from Scarlet, who was admittedly influenced by JustaGirl's drawing:



Next is from The Girl in Camouflage:



Lisa the Knitter has threatened to do one, and I eagerly await it! Anyone else is encouraged to submit a drawing, as well. It's an always-open invitiation.

iPod: My Emo Shuffle.

News of Note

1. This weekend I went to a show. The bill consisted of three tribute bands. The first was a tribute to Tool, and they rocked pretty hard. The second was a tribute to Rush, which I will get into in a second, and the third was a tribute to Pink Floyd, whom I've seen before and whose drummer I know. The Floyd band is good, but by the time they got on stage, the place was pretty empty and the vibe of the venue had fizzled.

As for the Rush tribute band, Coldfire, it was weird. You can't make out the members very well in the pictures on that site, but they look nothing like the members of Rush. The band is a four-piece (Rush is a trio) made up of three pudgy, middle-aged guys and a drummer who resembles Rush's legendary drummer, Neil Peart, in a vague way. The singer, who also plays keyboards, sounds a lot like Rush's singer. They were pretty good, especially considering how complex Rush's music is, but it's just surreal to see these guys playing Rush. The only real problem they had was when they played "Mission" from the Hold Your Fire album. Apparently, it was the first time they played it live, and it got pretty messy in the bridge section. The singer also messed up a lyric. So, it was a good time, but not a real "tribute" like this band, who I saw once in college. And that's all the classic rock music geek stuff for today.

2. I tried to record "24" last night, but failed because my stupid VCR was on the wrong channel. We couldn't record it with the DVR because the "Gray's Anatomy" finale was recording, so I had to record it on the antenna TV in the bedroom (Fox comes in the best on that TV). Of course, if Dish Network could just give us a dual-signal receiver for a reasonable price, then we could have recorded both at the same time. The TV is supposed to be on channel 3 all the time, and I change the channel on the VCR to make sure that what I'm watching is what's recorded. Somehow that system got changed. When I popped in the tape, eager to find out what was going to happen to Jack and Company, I got Bill Nye the Fucking Science Guy!

I just found out last night that iTunes sells Fox shows now, so I'll probably buy it instead of getting an illegal torrent download. The problem is, iTunes doesn't have it available yet. I'm probably going to have to buy "Lost" this week, too. Damn two-hour season finales! (In that case it's "The Amazing Race".)

3. Guess who I heard from yesterday, for the first time in a looonnng time. My ex-wife! It's easily been over two years since we last communicated. She emailed me looking for some information so she could fill out a passport application. How's this for a slap in the face: She needed my PLACE AND DATE OF BIRTH AND MY MIDDLE NAME!!!!! The place of birth I can see forgetting, but the other two?!?! I couldn't believe it! Maybe she went to one of those "Eternal Sunshine" memory erasing clinics. I remember her birth date, even year, and middle name. I even remember where her middle name came from. Amazing. Anyway, we traded a couple emails back and forth to superficially catch up. As far as I know, she doesn't know I'm remarried with two children, and I didn't tell her. If she happens across this blog, and reads this post, she'll know who I am and know what I've done with my life romantically. That's fine. I'm not embarrassed about my wife and kids. I don't care if my ex knows or not. I just don't want to tell her in a way that makes it look like I'm rubbing it in. I'd rather she found out some other way.

iPod: No iPod today. Lovely Wife is using it for her walk because I got ripped off in eBay and couldn't get her an iPod of her own. No word on that being resolved yet. Bastards!

Friday Kid Blogging

Aloha!




Of course I got them matching shirts. In a few years The Bear won't be into it anymore, so I need to take advantage now. He loved that they matched.

In other news, I had a great idea for a Mothers Day gift for Lovely Wife: an iPod Nano for her to use when she walks. I found one at a great "Buy It Now" price on eBay and secretly purchased it. Last night I got an email from eBay saying that the seller's listings had been removed and that I should try to get my money back if I hadn't yet received the item. Motherfucker! I can't believe I got scammed on eBay! I emailed the seller to get their story before I make a claim for reimbursement with PayPal, but I haven't heard anything yet. I don't really expect to, but I still hold out hope that I'll get it. Of course I had to fess up to LW about what I tried to get her and why it she won't have a gift on Sunday. I'm pretty pissed, and embarrassed. What a scumbag!

What do you think I look like?

You'll have to humor me while I explain my thought process for this post. You may have noticed that when bloggers make their links list for other blogs, they sometimes come up with clever phrases to use instead of the blog names. I'm obviously not one of these creative types, but I've seen the efforts of others with my blog name and I've come to a conclusion: not only is my blog's name weird, but it doesn't easily lend itself to being translated into a catchy or clever phrase. I think my favorite so far was "Lick some salt and beat Nick", which I believe belonged to The Sarcastrix, but if so, she doesn't use it anymore. With that realization I remembered a time in high school when a friend of mine, who is a really good artist, was drawing caricatures of other kids. I asked him to do me, and he looked at me, started to draw, looked at me again, looked at the paper, then looked up and said "I can't!" I have no idea why he felt incapable of drawing me, but ever since I've stayed away from sidewalk caricature artists. I don't know if my features are too bland to be caricature-ized, or if to draw a goofy version of me is so easy it would be offensive. I don't really want to know, so I'll never have it done. I'm genuinely afraid of what the drawing will look like.

That fear will not, however, keep me from inviting strangers to take a shot at it. I know some of you are artistically inclined (TGIC and Lisa the Knitter, I'm looking in your directions) and others like to fool around with MS Paint (Rachel). So I now call on anyone who reads this to sketch what you think I look like. Even if you've met me or have seen a full picture, go ahead and draw me. JustaGirl already did an MS Paint drawing of me after our meeting that was pretty accurate. You can go check that out here for a place to start. Any medium will do: pencil, ink, charcoal, squiggly digital lines, etc. Just get it in jpeg or gif format and email it to me. I can't wait to see what you come up with.* You can show as much or as little of me as you like. The only rule is that you include my face.

* If you think you're funny and you send in a drawing of a pig or an Orc or something, I'll still post it just to show the world how immature you are. Even if that would be a badge of honor for you.

iPod: "God, Give Me Strength" by Elvis Costello (lots of him today), "Union Federal" by Phish (all 25+ minutes of it!), and "Pitseleh" by Elliott Smith.

I got what I deserve.

Which is a loss in the Blog Fight. Our worthy opponents received one more comment than my team did, so it was close. My tactic of seeking sympathy then scorn didn't work. I probably should have put the second post up earlier for the benefit of my East Coast friends. Oh well.

I'm taking the week off from running because my calf is in rough shape. It must be some kind of inflamed tendon thing, but I don't know for sure. All I know is that it feels okay when I run, but as soon as I stop, it hurts like a bitch and is hard to walk on all day. I played a little scrimmage with The Bear's soccer team yesterday afternoon and was limping afterwards. It better go away after this rest, because it's prime running season, and my weight loss has stagnated. Got to look good for the beach in June.

I know I promised Hawaii pics, but I've just been too lazy to download them onto my work computer. Each pic is between 1.5 and 2 megs, so it's a pain to email or download them, then resize them, and post them. I'll try to get some up this week. I wish I could say that they'll be worth it, but probably not.

Any American Idol fans out there? Who do you think should leave tonight, and who do you think actually will? I think it will be Kat and Elliot (my two favorites) in the bottom two tonight, with Kat leaving. She didn't do as well as the others last night, so it's time to go.

That's all. Just a boring post. Thanks, everybody, for your comments yesterday. And thanks for stopping by the site for the first time ever, Gary!

iPod: "Freeze - Part IV of 'Fear'" by Rush, "Lining Lake Michigan" by Braid, "Exhuming McCarthy" by R.E.M., and "Dead and Bloated" by Stone Temple Pilots.

Please Forgive Me

I'm afraid you've all been the victims of a hoax. My eye is fine. Well, it's a little stuffy, but otherwise fine. There was no redness, pain, or excessive watering last night. No crying fire. No emergency room visit. If you notice the time of the post, it was just after midnight, EST. It was the post for the Blog Fight, and I thought I'd have a better chance at getting comments if I appealed to the blogosphere's sympathy. I made it all up just to get comments. I want to thank all of you who left comments for your sincere expression of concern. Please accept my humble apology for deceiving you. You should feel free to leave a lot more comments lambasting me for this childish prank. Really let me have it, all of you. You should even comment more than once, under assumed identities, so that I really understand how grievously I have wronged you, my friends. I am scum, and you should let me know that, over and over again.

iPod: "Mona Lisa" by Guster and "Particle Man" by They Might Be Giants.

I'm crying fire!

I don't know what is going on, but I am in serious pain right now. My right eye is beet red, watering like crazy, and I can barely see out of it. It's been bothering me a bit all day, but then after dinner it got a whole lot worse. I don't think I can get in touch with any of my eye doctors this time of night, so I'm going to the Emergency Room to see what I can do about it. Just need to wait for my mother in law to get here and watch the kids. Wish me luck.

Going Under the Beam

I got my LASIK eye surgery on Friday, and it went well. The process is uncomfortable in parts, like the back of a Volkswagen, but it doesn't last long. The worst part is the thing that sucks onto your eyeball to make the corneal cut. That and the bright lights shining in your eye while it's propped open and you can't close it. You don't really notice the cutting or laser part at all. Afterwards my vision was better than without glasses or contacts, but a bit iffy. By nighttime it was much better, and over the weekend it was great. Reading and looking at a computer screen is still a bit weird, and makes my eyes tired, but it seems that the procedure was a success.

In other news, I've officially been entered into a Tag Team Comment Fight. The Jinx of Spades, since he's too busy to provide any real blog content, has come up with this idea to see who can get more comments in a day. Here are the rules:

The fight begins at 12:00am EST, May 9th. You have 24 hours to arrange as comments from as many UNIQUE commentors as possible. As always, extra points for painted toes. For round 2, we're going to do something a little special.

TAG TEAM MATCH

The fighters will be set up in groups of two. Each team's comments will be totaled at the end. If someone comments on both teammates, it counts as 2 comments, so remind everyone to visit your teammate's blog as well.

My teammate is k-sra, and our victory depends on you visiting our sites and commenting, preferably on both. Don't let us down. Commenting begins tonight at midnight. I will put up another post tonight for the official Blog Fight comments. I urge all visitors, regulars and first timers, frequent readers and lurkers, to leave a comment. Your participation will be richly rewarded with the joy and satisfaction that you helped me win. What greater prize can there be?

You know what to do.

iTunes shuffle: "Broken Box" by Queens of the Stone Age, "Painting Nebraska" by Braid, "Scent of a Mule" by Phish, "Touch Me Fall" by Indigo Girls, "Time Turned Fragile" by Motion City Soundtrack, and "If Tragedy's Appealing, Then Disaster's an Addiction" by .Moneen.

Friday Kid Blogging: It's Good to be the King

The Bear kicked major ass in his play yesterday! Here are some pics.

Slumming with a Meme

You can thank JustaGirl today, because without her meme inspiration I'd be posting about last night's intense "Lost" ending and the virtues of new Three Cheese and Chicken Quesadilla Lean Pockets (mighty tasty!).

So now that you've been spared from that, here's the Random Music Meme:

Put your music player on shuffle. Press forward for each question. Use the song title as the answer to the question. Post on your blog. Comment back if you post it on your site. No comment regarding whatever songs that might come up (although I think I'll make some). Stolen from LOTS of bloggers.

Question 1: Where is your office located?
Answer: "Regrets" by Ben Folds Five. (boring)

Question 2: What happens when you drink too much? (that last song would have been good for this question)
Answer: "Your Stripes" by Buffalo Tom (yawn)

Question 3: What are your feelings about President Bush? (another question the first song would work for, although I didn't vote for the bastard)
Answer: "Good Grief" by Foo Fighters (pretty good)

Question 4: What's your latest blog obsession? (how's a song title supposed to be an interesting answer to that one?)
Answer: "The Angels' Share" by Geddy Lee (lame answer and song)

Question 5: How do you feel about your separation? (huh?)
Answer: "The Infant of Prague Customized My Van" by The Dead Milkmen (???)

Question 6: Name a topical song. (that's not a question)
Answer: "Golden" by Pond (okay, whatever)

Question 7: Give me the obligatory cleavage quote. (again, not a question, and makes little to no sense)
Answer: "Guelah Papyrus" by Phish (how's that for obligatory!)

Question 8: Fantasy Song #1. (do you even know what a "question" is?)
Answer: "Cinderella Man (live)" by Rush (kind of a Cinderella-fantasy connection, I guess)

Question 9: Fantasy Song #2. (I guess you don't)
Answer: "The Old Apartment" by Barenaked Ladies (I got nuthin')

Question 10: Describe your sex life. (back to elementary school with you)
Answer: "Brain of J" by Pearl Jam (gross)

Now I'm going to add a step to the meme and rearrange the answers to go with the best questions:

1. Where is your office located?
A. "The Old Apartment"

2. What happens when you drink too much?
A. "The Infant of Prague Customized My Van"

3. What are your feelings about President Bush?
A. "Brain of J" (as in Jelly)

4. What's your latest blog obsession?
A. "Your Stripes"

5. How do you feel about your separation?
A. "Regrets" (not to be taken literally)

6. Name a topical song.
A. "Guelah Papyrus"

7. Give me the obligatory cleavage quote.
A. "The Angels' Share"

8. Fantasy Song #1.
A. "Cinderella Man (live)"

9. Fantasy Song #2.
A. "Good Grief" (exasperation setting in)

10. Describe your sex life.
A. "Golden"

Okay, it was kind of lame, but it beats trying to stretch something about Lean Pockets.

More iPod: "Release" by Pearl Jam, "Someone Said Your Name" by Thanks To Gravity, "Take a Look" by Liz Phair (for some reason this song was in my head in the shower this morning), and "Stupid" by Toad the Wet Sprocket.

Blogging Just to Blog

I'm going to try to post daily, like I did once before and then fizzled, in the hopes that I can overcome my blogging despair and maybe squeeze something entertaining or amusing out of my brain. I've still not got much going on in my life, but dag nabbit, I'm going to write anyway!

How about an American Idol rant? In a lot of ways, I think this is the best season of Idol yet. Admittedly, I didn't watch the first season, but I think I can safely say that any season featuring the likes of Justin Guarini, Nikki McKibben, and Ryan Starr isn't going to challenge this season on any quality meters. The main reason I think this season is so much better is the diversity and integrity of the contestants, let alone that the overall quality of talent is higher. The final five all have very good voices, but they are all distinct from each other, and for the most part distinct from what's hot today. My personal favorites are Katharine "Beaver Shot" McPhee (BTW, Kat, thanks for that) and Elliott "Mr. Tumnus" Yamin. They are very talented singers who perform well, but not like record company clones. I think that they are kind of older-skewing, too, and that's probably why I like them, Grumpy-Old-Man-in-Training that I am. This isn't very rant-ish so far, but now I'll get to that part.

Chris "Poseur Extraordinaire" Daughtry. What the hell is this guy doing here? I'll admit that he has pipes, and that maybe he's easy on the eyes for some female viewers, but he irks me for a couple reasons. First of all, Chris, 1999 called and it wants its Whine Rock Sound back. Ed Kowalczyck from Live also called, and he's going to file a copyright suit against you for any money you earn from this Idol thing. Seriously, this guy heard Staind's "Break the Cycle" and, after he put away the lotion and cleaned himself up with some tissue, decided to mimic it and form a band. If you need any proof of his uber-derivativeness, see his "interpretations" of Fuel, RHCP, and Live's version of "Walk the Line" from this season. I'm fine with that, but Buddy, if you didn't get on the train along with Lifehouse, The Calling, Nickelback, Default, and the rest of 'em, it ain't gonna happen. Using American Idol as your Plan B is ill-advised to say the least.

Secondly, you get no cred in the "rock" world without a band. Unless you write the songs and play almost all the instruments (a la Lenny Kravitz [whom I despise, btw]), you're going nowhere. There's a big difference between a solo artist performing with hired guns and a singer in an organic band, and rock fans will totally reject the former. Thirdly, you do realize what's in store for you if you win, right? A prison sentence. You'll be signed to a contract to record an album that will have no trace of your own influence save for your warbly, overdone vibrato. IF you ever get to record on your own terms, it won't be until after several years and at least two albums that will paint you as something THEY want you to be, and not as you would like to be. Look at Kelly Clarkson. By all accounts she's an Idol success story, but it's highly suspect that she is now, 4 years later, making the music she truly wants to.

And fourthly, I just can't abide such an obvious copycat succeeding. Last year it was fun to call Constantine and Bo "rockers" with a wink and your fingers crossed. They were harmless and never really approached my musical "turf". Chris is the first true rock Idol contestant, and his unoriginality is all that more evident to me, a rock fan. If Chris becomes an ambassador of rock and starts a movement away from the popularity of Hip Hop, R&B, Rap, and manufactured Pop, I will be embarrassed to have him be the standard-bearer. Dave Grohl would have to step in and kick his ass.

I heard rumors early on that Fuel actually contacted Chris to take over lead singing duties for their band, but that his commitment to Idol prevents that from happening. I hope for his sake that he gets the boot from Idol and joins Fuel, playing minor league hockey arenas and state fairs for several years to come so that he can support his family. That would be the best possible outcome for him and the rest of rockdom.

iPod: "Ornamental" and "Pipsqueak" by Braid, "Saints and Sailors" by Dashboard Confessional, "Ephemera" by This Is Me Smiling, "What Did You Say?... I'm Sorry, My Eyes Are Burning" by .Moneen., "Table for Glasses" by Jimmy Eat World, "Quit" by Hey Mercedes, "Ten" and "Pain" by Jimmy Eat World, "Secret Santa Cruz" by The City on Film, "The Start to This May Be the End to Another" by .Moneen., "Eleven to Your Seven" and "Every Turn" by Hey Mercedes, and "Anderson Mesa" by Jimmy Eat World.

My nipples could cut glass!

Man, it's frickin' cold in my office today! It's really hard to type, too, with the cold making my fingers arthritic. They finally fixed the air conditioning in our building, but it's a bit too zealous.

I'm apparently still recovering from the time difference in Hawaii, because I'm exhausted when I get up in the morning. I don't know how I got up to run yesterday. Luckily, my trip didn't damage my standing in the weight loss challenge. I came back about a pound over what I weighed when I left, and by the end of the weekend I was back at my pre-trip weight. I had some very encouraging runs in Hawaii, but now my left calf is hurting more than is should (feels like some kind of tendon-thing) and I don't know what to do about it.

As for the trip, I had a good time. I was there for a convention, which was pretty boring, but I got some good gossip from and about fellow employees and of course the location was beautiful. It's my second time in Hawaii, and for some reason I've never been inspired to partake in nightlife there. Maybe it's the time difference. I know Honolulu is a major city with bars and such open late at night, but I just wanted to stay in my room. I went to one reception at 9:30 pm, and it seemed like midnight. I only stayed for about a half hour, and the walk back to the hotel was quiet, even along the main strip in Waikiki. The other time I was in Hawaii was on the island of Kauai, which is much less happening than Honolulu, but a great place for a vacation. I definitely recommend it.

The rest of my life is going just fine. Lovely Wife is finishing up her first semester back at school, The Bear is doing great in Kindergarten, and CBK Jr. has two cute little teeth sticking up from him bottom gum. No drama or foolishness to report, which I know doesn't make for very interesting reading.

iPod: "Roller Queen" by Jimmy Eat World and "There Are a Million Reasons for Why This May Not Work... And Just One Good One for Why It Will" by .Moneen.

Still trying to catch up.

My computer is just about dead, so I've been transferring all my stuff over to another one. I'll be back posting, reading, and leaving smart-ass comments probably tomorrow. Hawaii pictures are coming, too. I promise.

Pretty good hockey playoffs so far. Good play, interesting upsets. I almost don't notice the big gaping absence of the Bruins. *sniff*

iPod: "Nothingwrong" by Jimmy Eat World.