Friday, April 08, 2005

My wife is better than yours!

Because she flashed her boob to me…


She’s been teasing me with her ample cleavage all morning, and then BAM! Whole breast! Sweet!

I had an interesting parental experience last night. I was in the bathroom, and I heard our son whining to my wife. Then he came to the bathroom door and said he needed me to open the door. I cracked it and saw him crying, holding a crumpled piece of blue foil. “Did you eat this? I wanted to eat this for dessert sometime.” I was SO busted. He had found the wrapper for the Snickers egg I had stolen from his Easter basket the night before. I meant to throw it away, but forgot. He probably would never have noticed had I not been so careless with the wrapper, but apparently he pointed out that egg last week as something he wanted, so maybe he still would have noticed. He was very upset about it, and his crying was breaking my heart. I’m such a cad! I calmed him down and we made a deal that we would walk to the nearby convenience store and he could get a whole Snickers bar, which is bigger than a Snickers egg. He was happy after that. I also apologized profusely. It’s got to be traumatic for a kid to have his trust betrayed by a parent, and to have the concept of personal property violated by a loved one. I feel so bad. But, dammit, I needed a late-night snack!

He can be a very sensitive boy, especially when he’s tired. We watched The Amazing Race with him on Tuesday, and he cried when the brothers were eliminated. He was really sad about it. But other times all he wants to do is punch me in the stomach. My “Beanbag Belly,” as he likes to call it. He’s a fun kid.

IPod: “Filler” by Pond, “Live-in Skin” by Foo Fighters, “Walls of the Cave” by Phish