Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Screw it! I'm on a roll.

I'm terribly uninspired. So I'm going to write about poop again. This time it's my "funniest story about poop."* When I was working in a pizza place in Maryland, a couple kids came in one day. I think they were in high school, but may have been in college. There were two girls and one guy. One of them went to use the restroom while the others waited. I don't think anyone ordered anything. They left, and about 5 minutes later one of the managers went to clean the bathrooms. He made a startling discovery: a turd right on the floor! The kid had intentionally taken a dump in the middle of the bathroom. We couldn't believe it. Obviously the manager wasn't excited about cleaning it up, but the owner was determined to make cleaning it up unnecessary. He walked outside to the convenience store and actually found the kids! He made the culprit go back in and pick up the shit off the floor and flush it. It was so funny watching them come back in a huff, the owner following them, and storming out after it was done.

Did I mention that the shit was in the ladies' room?

Unbelievable! What kind of GIRL squats in the middle of a public bathroom and takes a crap on the floor? The guy must have dared her to do it. I just can't imagine a young female getting the inspiration to do that, no matter how much of a delinquent she is.

And I want a daughter some day.

iPod: "Animal Wild" by Shudder to Think, off of Sweet Relief 1

* DISCLAIMER: This site makes no promises, guarantees or warranties that it will actually make you laugh. "Funniest Story About..." merely reflects the author's own experience. Any similarity to actual humor is purely coincidental.