Thursday, June 01, 2006


I can't think of anything current to write, so I'm going back into the past. It's also an effort to draw my friend Jade out of her cyber silence. I'm not sure if she even reads the site anymore. I don't look too closely at my Sitemeter stats because 90% of my visitors are looking for Jill Wagner. Thanks to that bony, annoying car spokesmodel I have over 30,000 visits to the site. I wish it were 300 visits from people who want to read what I have to say and who play the Brain Squeeze instead, but what are you gonna do?

Anyway, I wasn't a total nerd/outcast growing up, but I was always on the periphery. I was nice, and probably a little meek. Luckily, the only time I was victimized by a bully was in 5th grade. He was a gruff, strong, inarticulate brute by the name of Stephen Thibeau. (I already Googled the name, so save yourself the futile effort of discovering something about my past.) He never beat me up, but he routinely intimidated me. My last name is an easy target for ridicule, and he came up with a really stupid nickname for me that, while it involved my last name, did so in a very non-obvious, non-clever way. It was more the way he said it that was effective. I can't really remember anything specific he did to me, like stealing my things or making me lick the floor, but there are a couple things I remember vividly about him:

1. In elementary school, probably 4th grade, all the kids in the grade released balloons with post cards attached to them. The post card had each child's name and the school's address so that whoever found the balloon could mail the post card back and indicate where the balloon had been found. Mine was never found, but Stephen's was sent back from the furthest location. I resented him for that a bit because I felt a dumb kid like him was unworthy of that honor. You can't expect mature thinking from a 4th grader.

2. He LOVED Michael Jackson. I mean idolized him. He sometimes wore a fedora hat to school like Michael's. He talked about how Michael was the best dancer in the world. His Jacko worship always confused me because he was such a surly bastard otherwise. Seriously, he was. You're all probably thinking that I was such a wimp that I was bullied by the local Michael Jackson impersonator, but really he was a tough, scary kid. Jade, back me up on this, please!

iPod: "Weekapaug Groove (live)" by Phish, "Stratford-on-Guy" by Liz Phair, "Message in a Bottle" by The Police, "Depression Day Dinner" by The Dead Milkmen, "Undone (The Sweater Song)" by Weezer, "Times Like These" by Foo Fighters and "Long Road" by Pearl Jam.