Friday, December 10, 2004

Crazy for Cheesesteak!

Literally! This guy has more issues than the temperature of his sub. He needs help, surely, but a nice, hot, melty steak and cheese is not going to fix him. Of course, going to Subway for a cheesesteak is the first sign of dementia. I understand that there's only so much you can do when franchising the "Sandwich Artist" system across the world, but if you can't put a grill in a store and at least cook a Steak-um, don't even go near cheesesteak territory. As you might guess, I covet the Steak and Cheese sub. Aside from disturbing me, this story made me want to ditch the can of soup I brought for lunch today and drive about 20 miles for the best steak sub I've found in Utah (so far).

I've worked in multiple establishments featuring the good ol' cheesesteak. I love seeing them, smelling them, making them, eating them. Which is funny because I came to the steak sub genre pretty late in life. My parents and brothers used to get the mythical #9 at D'Angelo's when I was kid. I couldn't understand eating a sub with steak, so I always got meatball or hot ham and cheese. It wasn't until college, freshman year, when I first tried a steak sub. My friend would get them at the greasy late night catering truck, while I stuck with the cheeseburger subs. Then on the day my parents were taking me home for the summer, I took a chance and got a steak sub for the road. Talk about momentous turning points in a person' life! That was the summer of '92. From Summer '93 through summer of 2002 I slung steak every year at one time or another. I've become quite the cheesesteak snob. I've eaten both Gino's and Pat's in Philly, and neither are much to write home about. Canada is a barren wasteland, when it comes to cheesesteaks. It's pretty much just hot roast beef! The sacrilege! I've had amazing subs in the most unlikely places, like Wrightsville Beach, NC and some small pizza place in nowhere Connecticut. I entered an essay contest to win the sub shop I worked at in Denver when the owner decided to get out of the business. Here is my silly essay, loaded with lame Shakespeare references:

“A sub! A sub! My Kingdom for a sub!”

Richard the Third’s doomed plea was still fresh in my ears, the Midsummer Night’s dream still in my head. But this was not a dream to take lightly! It was penned by the great Bard Himself!


As Julius Caesar discovered, too late: One must heed the omens that come to him, or you will find him a grave man.

If you tickle me, do I not laugh? A prick of hunger, shall I not feed?
Alas! A Famous Philly Cheesesteak is close at hand! All’s Well That Ends Well!

It needed to be 100 words or less. I didn't win the restaurant, because the owner canceled the contest due to lack of interest. He was supposed to cleanup on the entry fees. I sent him the essay anyway, and he declared me the unofficial winner.

iPod: "Pretty Deep" by Tanya Donelly